24 Feb, 2011
Words to Live By
Today’s Story: Words to Live By
Are you a lexophile? It means you're a lover of words. See if you think these are punny, 
I mean funny.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
A calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted: ‘Taint yours, and ‘taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Collection from sources unknown / photo courtesy of 123rf.com
1You can be certain that in the last days there will be some very hard times. 2People will love only themselves and money. They will be proud, stuck-up, rude, and disobedient to their parents. They will also be ungrateful, godless, 3heartless, and hateful. Their words will be cruel, and they will have no self-control or pity. These people will hate everything that is good. 4They will be sneaky, reckless, and puffed up with pride. Instead of loving God, they will love pleasure. 5Even though they will make a show of being religious, their religion won't be real. Don't have anything to do with such people.
14Keep on being faithful to what you were taught and to what you believed. After all, you know who taught you these things. 15Since childhood, you have known the Holy Scriptures that are able to make you wise enough to have faith in Christ Jesus and be saved. 16Everything in the Scriptures is God's Word. All of it is useful for teaching and helping people and for correcting them and showing them how to live. 17The Scriptures train God's servants to do all kinds of good deeds.
God’s Words are the most important words that we can utter. The Scriptures are full of promises. It’s our manual for how to live our life.
Read the Bible daily. Meditate on it. Study it. Memorize it. Apply it. Pray the scriptures. The Bible is still relevant, fresh, and alive!
How can we connect today’s story, God’s Story scripture, and our story to others?
• Use the Bible to encourage others.
• Share how the Bible has and is changing your life and your spiritual journey with Jesus.
• Use different translations to get a fresh and new perspective on the Scriptures. Find a translation that you can understand.
• Ask your pastor or youth leader to help you with scriptures that you don’t understand.
• Find an accountability partner that will help keep you on track in reading the Scriptures each day.
Let the Scriptures change your life. Don't be like the small boy who swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’ You can't change the Word - it has to change you.
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