2 Nov, 2010

The choice to say NO

 personal life pie chart

 

In the past, my “no” seemed to be broken. I hated to disappoint people. I figured that if someone had thought enough of me to ask for my help, I’d better give it. So whether working in the church nursery or leading a school club, I just couldn’t say no. 

Everything that I was involved in was a good thing, but it didn’t feel that way. I went from a cheerful optimist to a major stress case! Being part of everything led to enjoying nothing, and I ended up feeling irritated and isolated.

One day, a mentor grabbed some paper and drew a pie chart. She asked me to write down every involvement in my life within the circle and show how much time I gave to each. I gave a little bit to everything I could, but by the time I finished, I had left me, my family and God out. My friend said, “I know you aim to please others, but by trying to make everyone happy, you are losing your own joy.  You are going to disappoint someone. Do you want it to be God or your family, or one of these other things?”

When I looked at it that way, I realized saying “yes” because I didn’t want to disappoint anyone wasn’t good for me. By choosing to please others, I wasn’t listening to what God wanted.  Since then, I’ve tried to stop and pray before saying yes to new involvements.  Every time I stutter out a “no” it gets a little easier!

 

Mark 8:36 (MSG)

 36"What good would it be to get everything you want but lose you, the real you?

What does today's story Scripture teach me about choices?

In Mark 8, Jesus is talking to his disciples about the reality of following him. When we choose to follow God's way, we have to make hard choices. Jesus calls this "taking up our cross." Putting God first means putting ourselves second.

The problem is, sometimes we think "putting God first" means saying yes to any and everything that we perceive as "good." But that's not what Jesus says. Honestly, sometimes we say yes just because it's easier than saying no! But Jesus often took the harder choice and said "no" to people in order that he might say "yes" to God. As Christians, we have to watch out that in our quest to do good things, we don't crowd out the space we need to hear from God and actually follow what HE says.

How can I connect today's God Story Scripture to my life?

Here's some questions to ask yourself about your "no":

  • How do I balance my commitments to family, school, church, friends, God and myself? When has my life been out of balance? What did I learn from my mistakes?


  • When people ask me to volunteer, why do I feel the need to say yes? Am I trying to impress God or others? to be accepted? to live out my faith? to secure a college scholarship? to prove my worth? Why do I waffle between yes and no instead of saying what I really feel?

  • When I say yes to too many activities and commitments, how does it affect my attitude? my relationships? my performance? my soul? 

 How can I connect today's story, my story and God's Story Scripture to others?

Our inability to say what we really mean can be a major hindrance in our relationship with friends. Do you think you tend to say "yes" too much or "no" too much? How has that affected your relationships with friends?

If you aren't making space for God, it's very difficult to care for anyone else. The best love for others comes out of our own learning and devotional time with God. What do you need to say "no" to this week in order to say "yes" to God? 

The payoff is worth it: by saying yes to God, you will love others better. They'll notice!

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